I’m sure you’re aware, the dating world is now mainly digital. (Heck, most of the things in this world are digital now!) The problem is, miscommunication is a lot more common behind a screen. Without cues in facial expressions and body language, your digital persona might be giving off a completely different vibe than who you really are.
So to help avoid any misconceptions or miscommunications, here are 5 secrets to texting a guy you like that will help you instead build attraction and connection.
TEXTpert Secret #1: Avoid the “vomit text.”
Texting is meant to be a quick, convenient form of communication. That being said, it’s easy to get carried away to type out a big long novel (I know, I’ve been there before!) Avoid texting an entire conversation in one text. Instead, allow the conversation to flow and evolve naturally, instead of trying to get the entire story of your day into one text message. A good rule of thumb: if he has to scroll, it’s too long! Think of texting as a method of accomplishing one of two things – either to send a quick message that will add value or joy to his day, or for planning, to figure out logistics like where you’re meeting for your date, what time, etc.
TEXTpert Secret #2: Avoid “machine gun texts”
Machine gun texts are similar to the vomit text, except instead of sending one big long text, you send one question after another, without giving him time to respond to each question. Texting should feel like a game of ping-pong – he texts you, you text him back, he responds, you respond, etc. The conversation should feel like interactive, and have a natural back and forth, instead of asking all of your questions out of the gate and waiting for him to reply to each one. Because who wants to do that, right?
TEXTpert Secret #3: Avoid fighting over text
Now this may seem like a no-brainer, and often times it’s not done intentionally. However, if you’re having a disagreement, the only way to reach reconciliation is to talk in person or get on the phone. If you send things like “I can’t believe you! CALL ME NOW!” that feels a lot like a someone holding up bear trap and being like “hey you, stick your foot in there.” I’m sure you know how it feels to receive an angry text, and how easy it is to put the phone down and not respond! If you need to reconcile a disagreement, send something along the lines of “Hey, would love to chat with you. Call me when you’re available.” This will let him know something is up, and he’ll feel more prepared to speak with you, rather than scaring him and having him blow you off.
TEXTpert Secret #4: Add value to his life
Avoid being a “vamp” or someone who sucks the energy out of you. Sending things like “I’m so bored” or “Ugh, I have nothing to do” sends the impression that you’re looking for someone to entertain you, or just plug into their life so you can “suck” the fun out of theirs. Instead be the person who adds light, love, and laughter to your interaction. Even if you are bored, you can send things like funny pictures of GIFs which will keep even the most dull day lighthearted and fun.
TEXTpert Secret #5: Avoid the unworthy “just”
This may seem nitpicky, but avoid starting sentences with words like “just” and “hope.” For example: “Just checking in” or “Hope I’ll see you again soon.” These words have an apologetic tone, which reeks of unworthiness. Don’t apologize for reaching out to him, he’s lucky to have you! Move from unworthiness to certainty and confidence by sending more texts like “Hey my friends and I are going to beach this weekend, you should come!” or “Want to do something fun?” This confidence will trigger his attraction and have him coming back for more.
So those are the 5 secrets to texting the guy you like in a way that builds attraction and connection. Now that you’re a textpert, go ahead and send that cutie a silly bitmoji 😉
Want some more great ideas and strategies for texting guys you like?
Click here to download my free ebook: How to Text Guys! How, When, and What to Text to Ignite His Desire and Make Him Respond.